#eventually you realize that this is all just a game to the imposter

[isekyaaa]

But on the other hand, a psychological horror fanfiction of That's Not My Neighbor in which you are the doorman and a certain entity becomes obsessed with making your life a living hell.

[gardenwons]

LET ME IN, PLEASE🥛

SYNOPSIS As the new doorman for the shabby apartment complex, you learn quickly to recognize imposters until eventually a cunning doppelganger entered the building—also making its way in you.

PAIRINGS: doppelganger!jungwon x doorman!reader

WARNINGS: smut with plot, dom!jungwon, making out, unprotected sex, breeding kink, praising, blood, lowkey mean won(?)

A/N: loosely based on "that's not my neighbor," was vv in love w/ the milkman pls he's a sweet boy and it was supposed to be seung but jw my love it is!

5 minutes till the end of shift.

And in the past few hours of your shift, the scene at the checkpoint remained tense yet controlled. Behind the desk, you tapped away as you await the next individual on the list. Hours had been spent meticulously weighing each resident’s reasons and paperwork, a task heavy on your shoulders each time.

You were startled by the sudden creak of the door, which swung open to reveal a tired-looking man. His eyes betrayed his exhaustion, yet he managed a weary smile as he approached the window. "Hello, here’s my ID," he said, placing it on the counter with an air of casualness, his gaze drifting away as he stifled a yawn. His hair, tousled beneath a hat that hinted at his profession.

You inspect his ID with a mix of weariness and curiosity. He seems new? you wonder to yourself, but quickly push the thought aside. "Entry request, please?" you ask, meeting his already fixed stare with a gentle smile as he hands over the necessary paperwork. "Ah, yes... forgot about it, sorry" he mutters apologetically. You accept the documents, scanning them carefully before glancing over to your left. "You’re not on today’s list?" you observe, noting a slight raise of his eyebrows as he shakes his head. "I'm supposed to be there? Probably an error" he mutters, his response prompting a hint of suspicion in your gaze.

Cautiously, you check his phone number and attempt to dial it. "I'm sorry, sir, but you must be on the list to be let–" Before you can finish, he interrupts, addressing you by name. "___?...right?" he questions, his lips forming a tight line as he pleads, "I'm really tired today. If you could just be a sweetheart and–" Suddenly, the phone rings, and you hastily pick it up, your heart skipping a beat as you hear the voice on the other end. "Hello? Jungwon speaking–" The realization hits you– how can the man in front of you look undetectable? His eyes lock onto yours as he blurts out, "Fuck." It's clear he knows he's been caught.

Shaking uncontrollably, you were on the verge of dialling the emergency number when he suddenly slammed his fist against the window, causing you to let out a scream. "Don’t make this hard for me now, angel" he said, his tone surprisingly gentle despite his earlier aggressive action. The encounter with this doppelganger was unlike anything you had experienced before – simultaneously strange and alluring, perhaps due to the handsome facade he wore, and god did he wear it well.

"Let me in or..." he trailed off, a glimmer of malice and lust flickering in his eyes as his lips curled into a smirk. "-I’ll let myself in." Despite the magnetic pull you felt towards him, and the undeniable surge of attraction coursing through your body, you pressed the emergency button. Watching as the metal wall descended, separating you from him. Jungwon's curses echoed loudly from behind the barrier as you continued to dial the D.D.D.

"You have contacted the D.D.D. A group of agents has been sent to your building" the automated voice informed, bringing a momentary sense of relief as you awaited assistance. But his next words shattered that peace. "You know I could kill them all and still get through to you, hm?" he taunted over the metal barriers, causing your heart to race even faster. "Or maybe that’s what you wanted?” Jungwon sighed, clenching your thighs together as you heard him chuckle. “Sweet girls like you shouldn’t play games like this" he scolded with a tsk, following with “It does however, make me want to devour you more”

Huddled in your seat, you listened as the agents rushed in, screams filling the air for what felt like an eternity. For what seemed like so many agonizing minutes later, silence fell upon the room. Trembling, you called out, receiving no response. With caution, you deactivated the emergency button, watching as the metal wall retracted, revealing a gruesome scene before you. Jungwon stood amidst the lifeless bodies of the yellow-suited agents, his back heaving with exhaustion. Blood covered his face and hands, dripping onto the ground.

Unable to find your voice, you watched in horror and awe as Jungwon approached your window, his eyes softened, ruby painted hands clasped together in a pleading gesture as he begged, "Please, I... I didn't mean to. I just wanted to go in." His lips formed a pout, his eyes glossy, yet his face was streaked with blood. Hat nowhere to be found, his hair was ruffled, with some strands sticking to his blood-stained face, "I know i messed up, just let me make it up to you inside" he continued pleading, his lips curving into a genuine smile as he sensed your resolve wavering. Despite the firmness in your stance, his appearance – bloodied, hair tousled, voice filled with desperation stirred something within you, whether you had a clear head you knew the heat was getting to you down there. He gestured toward the green button, the one that would unlock the door, his gaze unwavering as he directly addressed you. "Press that for me, please?" he instructed, as if your better judgment didn't matter. And at that moment, it didn't. 

You found yourself slowly reaching for the unlock button, his presence casting a mesmerizing spell over you. "Ah, that’s my girl" Jungwon praised, his words sending a rush of heat to your cheeks. Yet, beneath his seemingly genuine appreciation, there lurked a sinister undertone, evident in the chuckle that escaped him as the doors clicked open.

Without hesitation, he winked at you and slipped inside, leaving you feeling breathless and foolish. "What have I done?" you muttered to yourself, but before you could fully grasp the weight of your actions, the door to the office swung open behind you. Turning, you found yourself face to face with the bloodied man once again, his eyes fixated on you like a predator sizing up its prey. A chill ran down your spine as he licked the stain of blood from his lips. "Can’t just leave without giving my girl a reward, can I?" he teased, his voice dripping with a dark promise.

As you instinctively reached for the nearest makeshift weapon, Jungwon's eyes rolled with a playful smirk. "Aren’t you adorable? If I wanted you dead, I would've done so earlier" he teased. Jungwon’s words hung heavy in the air as he advanced towards you, his expression softening into that same endearing pout.

"You've done so well for me, angel" he cooed, his arms enveloping yours, causing your heart to race as his scent enveloped you—metallic from the dried blood and musky, intoxicating in its allure. Leaning in, his hair falling gently over his eyes, he fixed his gaze on you, seeming to see right through you, transparent in your vulnerability.

"I could be yours, please let me in" he whispered, his lips brushing against yours, waiting for your consent.

Without hesitation, you pressed your lips to his, feeling him sigh contentedly against you. His hand slid to the back of your head, tangling in your hair as he gently pulled you closer. His lips trailed down your neck, leaving a warm path in their wake. Gripping your hair, he tugged on it, drawing a moan from your lips.

His lips continued their journey down your neck, each kiss growing more intense as his grip tightened on your hair, drawing you closer to him. Jungwon’s breath was hot against your skin, his mouth teasing the sensitive spots just below your ear, sending shivers down your spine. He adored the way your body reacted to him, the subtle arch of your back, the soft gasp that escaped your lips, it all fueled his desire. His other hand slipped down your side, fingers grazing over your curves, leaving a trail of fire in their graze.

As his lips found their way back to yours, his kiss became more demanding, his tongue slipping past your lips in a heated dance with yours. The taste of him so metallic, dark, and utterly intoxicating—clouded your senses, making it impossible to think clearly, to think logically. His hands were everywhere, exploring your body with a possessiveness that made your knees weak. Jungwon pushed you against the wall, his body pressed firmly against yours, the heat between you both intense. His hand slipped beneath your shirt, fingers brushing over your bare skin, sending waves of pleasure through you.

Jungwon broke the kiss, panting slightly as he gazed down at you with a mix of adoration and hunger in his eyes. "You feel so good, sweet angel" he murmured, his voice thick with lust as his hand slid lower, teasing the waistband of your pants. He gave you a wicked smile before slipping his hand beneath the fabric, finding your most sensitive spot with ease. His fingers moved with expert precision, thrusting in your walls, drawing out moans from you as he leaned in to kiss you again, swallowing every sound you made. The world outside ceased to exist as you lost yourself in his touch, the innocent people already forgotten as the intensity of your connection left you breathless and wanting more.

Jungwon's fingers moved with a skilled rhythm, each stroke sending jolts of pleasure through your body. His lips trailed along your jawline, nipping gently at your skin as he worked you closer to the edge. You could feel the tension building within you, your breathe coming in shallow gasps as his touch became more insistent, more demanding. He seemed to sense the exact moment when you were about to tip over the edge, pulling back slightly just to tease you, watching with dark, lustful eyes as you writhed in his arms, desperate for release.

A loud smack echoed through the room as his hand connected with your ass, his eyes glaring down at you. "Patience, angel" he whispered, his voice low and husky, filled with a dark amusement. He relished in your need, the way your body responded so eagerly to his touch. Maybe this was just as delicious as eating flesh. His thumb brushed over your clit, sending a shockwave of pleasure through you, making your knees buckle as he held you up against the wall. "I want to see you fall apart for me" he growled, his voice thick with desire as he pressed his lips against yours again, the kiss deep and consuming.

With a final, skilled flick of his fingers, he sent you spiraling into a powerful climax, your body shaking against his as you moaned his name. Jungwon watched with a satisfied smirk as you came undone in his arms, his hand never stopping its movements, drawing out every last bit of pleasure from your trembling body. When you finally came down from your high, he gently removed his hand, bringing it up to his lips as he licked his fingers clean, eyes locked onto yours with a possessive intensity that sent a shiver down your spine.

With a sudden, forceful grip, Jungwon spun you around, pressing your chest against the cold metal desk. His breath was hot against your neck as he yanked your skirt up, not wasting a moment before tearing away the thin fabric covering your core. "You're mine, aren't you?" he growled, his voice rough and filled with a dark hunger. You barely had time to respond before he thrust into you with no warning, filling you completely, the sharp pain mixing with pleasure as your body adjusted to his size.

"Fuck, you take me so well" he groaned, his hips snapping against you with a brutal pace, the sound of skin against skin filling the room. Each thrust was hard, merciless, and deep, driving you forward on the desk. His hand found your hair again, yanking your head back as he leaned down, his teeth grazing your ear. "You're going to take every drop of me, let me fill you up until you're dripping with me."

His words sent a shiver down your spine, the rough edge to his voice only heightening the intensity of the moment. Jungwon’s pace was relentless, every thrust pushing you closer to the edge. His grip on your hair tightened, pulling you back further as he forced you to arch, the angle driving him even deeper. "Good angel" he praised, though his tone carried a mocking edge, a smirk can be heard through it. "You love this, don't you? Being fucked like this, knowing I could fill you up right now” You could only moan in response, the overwhelming sensations rendering you speechless. The slickness of your arousal mixed with the occasional streak of blood from where his nails had dug into your skin, a reminder of the rawness of the situation. Jungwon’s other hand moved to grip your hip, his fingers digging into your flesh as he pounded into you intensely. "Say it" he commanded, his voice low and commanding. "Tell me you want it. Tell me you want to be filled, bred by me."

Your body was trembling, barely able to hold on as you gasped out the words he wanted to hear. "I want it" you managed to choke out between moans. "I want you to fill me up please" the coherent you would have pushed him away, clearly realizing this wasn’t even the real Jungwon.

A satisfied growl rumbled from his chest as he picked up the pace, slamming into you with enough force to make you see stars. "That’s right, angel" he groaned, his grip tightening as he drove you both towards the edge. "Take all of me. You’re going to be so full of me, there won't be any doubt who you belong to."

With a final deep thrust, he buried himself inside you, his body tensing as he released into you. The warmth of his seed filling you sent you over the edge, your body shaking around him as you climaxed, your cries of pleasure bouncing in the room. Even as the waves of pleasure washed over you, Jungwon stayed inside, his hands still gripping you possessively.

Breathless and spent, he leaned over you, pressing a kiss to the back of your neck, his voice soft but firm. "I knew you would taste so sweet" he murmured, leaning in to kiss you once more, his lips lingering on yours as he whispered, "And now... you're mine, angel." He stepped back, his eyes filled with dark satisfaction, the taste of you still on his lips as he gave you one last, lingering look before turning to leave. You watched him go, your body still trembling, cum dripping down you legs as your mind swirled with a mixture of fear, confusion, and disturbing attraction. The door closed behind him with a soft click, leaving you alone with the echoes of your own rapid breathing and the scent of him still clinging to your skin.

You slumped against the wall, trying to make sense of what had just happened, the reality of it slowly sinking in. You knew you should feel horrified, disgusted even, but all you could think about was the way he had made you feel, the dark, consuming passion that had ignited between you two. It terrified you, but at the same time, you couldn't deny the magnetic pull you felt towards him, a pull that had led you to do the unthinkable. As you slowly gathered yourself, your heart still racing, one thought lingered in your mind: this was far from over.

taglist:

@slvrnm @moonpri @jaheydane @mintdsunoo @yawnzzhoon

@ilovejungwonandhaechan

@sacrificeatmeup @beomluvrr

@uwudaizy @geraldsmochi

@ilovecats923 @millieinyourarea

@missoxy @txtbeomi

@moonchus @nyxtwixx

@enhypenlovre @jwonistic

@denleave1088 @seongiewon

[redd956]

When writing feels stale and unfamiliar...

Ever be trying to finish a WIP, update a fanfic, or push out something for school, but writing just suddenly feel so stale, almost like your own writing doesn't sound like you...

Well I'm here to help you break that cycle!

This feeling usually happens when either two things happen

Imposter Syndrome

or

You're Simply Improving

That's right, it's not you doing something wrong, you're just being a skilled writer. How do we get out of this dull feeling though? There's a lot of different tactics you can try. Here's some potential options.

Read your own writing

Read your own writing. Do it! Not only does it cause you to realize how much you like your own writing, it forces you to refresh. it's a great way to remember where you were going in a piece, and any potential themes or writing style you accidentally dropped. It makes it easier to pick up some lost mistakes too, and discover some places to improve.

(this one works twice as well after a break or some passage of time :D)

Change of Atmosphere

Not exactly a change of location, but instead a change of atmosphere. Play a new lo-fi playlist, try writing without any sound at all, indulge in thematic video essays in the background. Sometimes in order to regain focus the atmosphere needs to change.

Consume New Content

This goes for all creatives who are stumped. To output constant creative creations and ideas you require an input in the first place. For some people it may take awhile before they feel the brunt of creative block, but it will eventually come for all. The best advice I can give is to consume new media. Read a new book, watch a TV show, play a video game, find a new artist you like. This is all input. Input becomes output.

Take A Break

Not everyone has the privilege to do this one, but if you do, don't turn your nose from it. Taking a break isn't exactly something everyone does creative-wise, especially those who deal with a quick working skill regression. I've been there.

Taking a break from something is a great way to make it feel fresh when you return. Breaks don't have to be long. Depending on what calculates as a break for you is what you should strive for (even if it's only a day or two).

Acceptance

Accept that you are not going to create the top most, polished stuff 24/7 Every artist and writer creates and dumps ton of unfinished art, erases pieces, and makes lots of mistakes. Often times the best work that we admire takes a lot of time, refinement, practice, and drafts. Sometimes we just have to write badly in order to come back and do it again good.

[yawujin]

Hi! Hope you don’t mind, but could I ask for Byakuya Togami, Teruteru Hanamura, Byakuya (Imposter) and Ryoma Hoshi with an S/O who has misophonia? Feel free to adjust it if this is too much- thank you!

request | byakuya, teruteru, ultimate imposter & ryoma x S/O with misophonia

type | light hearted , non killing game , gender neutral reader

byakuya togami ♡

at first, he thought you were just slightly bothered by certain noises

"it's a good thing we don't have to hear this all day, now isn't it?" he remarked turning a page in his book

you two had gone on an outdoor date, sitting on the poolside of a resort

it was amazing, but loud

you brought up your misophonia to him, with byakuya researching it later on when you two were about ready to settle down for the night

during the weekend, he had taken you to buy top quality noise cancelling headphones

then, the next day, he took you to a very nice restaurant that he knew had a quieter atmosphere

whenever you get triggered by a noise, he'll squeeze your hand without a word until you feel better

teruteru hanamura ♡

you get especially irrate when you hear the clanging of pots and pans in the kitchen and the light clinking of silverware

"whatever is the matter sweetie?" teruteru places his hand on the small of your back. you hadn't realized he noticed

you explain your misophonia to him and how the noises he makes affects you

he looks troubled, but then has an idea

he hands over a speaker to you and tells you to play your favorite songs "play it all as loud as you want, i'll be here~"

he works as quiet as he can in the kitchen, eventually calling you over to the table for dinner

ultimate imposter ♡

his house is rather quiet, but it's next to a street that's busy very often

holds you tight when you start feeling panicked because of the loud noises coming from outside

he'll cup your ears and stroke your hair until you feel okay enough to sit up

he usually eats crunchy things, such as chips, away from you to prevent you getting triggered by his eating noises

ryoma hoshi ♡

he's usually quiet anyway so being with him goes smoothly most of the time

if you get triggered by any noises outside, he'll instantly put on some relaxing music

"wanna go lay down by the cat and listen to him purr?"

ryoma lets you cuddle him while you intently listen to your cat meow and purr quietly

"see?" ryoma yawns, the calm atmosphere making you both sleepy "you're alright." he reassures you

[nekodere07]

Can you guys recommend me Evil X centric fics? And provide a summary and major spoiler to convince me to read them? I listed the ones below that I discovered/read so far, so you don't need to recommend them again. It also functions as me recommending stuff to EX enjoyers :D

Asking for Nothing by mayflowers fr "i can be the one you call" series (Evil X redemption saga after traumatizing Keralis w/ Zed's help; you need to read everything for context since it has diff events and has continuity) ✨

Anthophobia by residentevilxisuma (Evil X has platonic Hanahaki disease) ✨

Make Me Hurt, Make Me Bleed by residentevilxisuma (Reaper Evil X got tortured by Mumbo but doesn't have physical scars due to his regeneration, but it's been hiatus/discontinued since 2021 😭) ✨

residentevilxisuma's Reaper AU by residentevilxisuma (collection of Evil X reaper au)

Another Chance by Ronin_Resistance fr "Void Medic EX" series (Evil X is in charge of respawn while in the void)

Homesick by Inquillitory (Evil X redemption arc after being indirectly responsible for s8's doom)

Can't Even Hear My Own Sobs by GoodTimeWithCip (EX has meltdown after being ripped fr the void)

Here is Home by Shrug (Icynightsky) (not centric but major role; Evil X rescues Impulse fr the void who was banned due to Imposter Syndrome)

The betrayal of brothers doesn't mean the betrayal of others. by JustAnotherMutantKid (Evil X was banned by Xisuma for not doing what he wants but got help by Team ZIT + Wels)

The Road to Hell (Is Paved with Good Intentions) by Random_Reviewer (not centric but antagonist; Evil X tortures Etho and streamed it for the Hermits to see)

this is about a stuffed bird by Bee_4 (downloaded it but didn't have the motivation to read since MCD)

The Hermits And The Mystery of How Evil X Eats by thatgirlfromasgard (not centric; like the title suggests)

it takes two to play (the game of mutual secrecy) by kiwinatorwaffles fr "the hermitcraft hero au (VDHAU)" series (Evil X vigilante due to admiration of a hero, not knowing it was his older brother Xisuma, and those two were just oblivious to each other's identity when all their friends already figured it out a long time ago) ✨

Late Night Visits by Lackyducks (not centric but major role; Evil X sends a stressed Xisuma to Scar since he can't shapeshift back)

Family Revelation series by PickleGirl23 (Exil X found and adopted Grian as his son; didn't continue the series tho since they crossover w/ DSMP)

Iron Bleeds Green by MawoftheMagnetar (not centric but major role; X and EX were formerly the same person but separated due to a tech fr their home planet, and an individual fr there was hunting both of them down)

Cat Among Pigeons by qvill (Evil X was spit out by the Rift after being void banned, shapeshifts into a cat so no one will know it's him)

Love Me Like I'm Dead by Dani_ofCrows (ongoing; major role; X and EX were secretly some kind of creature but X keeps it a secret fr the Hermits until this was forced to be discovered, Hermits shortly realized that both siblings have Hanahaki disease)

I'll Take You By The Hand by ScarletHalo (Evil X was captured by the Watchers but Grian helped w/ his injuries until Xisuma comes to theit rescue)

Words Are Hard by BDbSafe4U (BlueDblue62) (depressed Evil X can't communicate how much he was hurting to X until he tried to off himself in Decked Out)

voidfishing, the new sport that nobody regretted partaking in (eventually, anyway) by kiwinatorwaffles (major role; Xisuma fishes out kid Evil X out of the void)

Well well, look who's inside again by rorythewriter (ongoing; Evil X is freed fr the void but has amnesia and is suicidal due to the pain fr sensory deprivation/overload, EX and Zed friendship for the win)

Cold and broken and hurt (Warm and healed and protected) by Moonflowers24 (EX disappeared in s8 and was stuck in the void until s10, assumed X hated him since he banned him to the void again and never responded to their texts)

A Nether Return by Sharo (EX glitch spawned in the 1.16 Nether after being banned, got sick but was taken care of by team ZIT and Zed got pissed after discovering X banned EX)

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s6 ep21: Live Fast and Prosper

This is a silly episode, but it's kind of fun. Voyager learns there's a group of con artists masquerading as them, leaving a trail of angry aliens they've swindled, who think they were double-crossed by the real Voyager. They then have to go track down the culprits, who've been cosplaying as them while selling memberships to 'the Federation' throughout the sector, to clear Voyager's good name.

Shipwide malfunctions lead B'Elanna and the Captain to investigate (and it goes to show how bad Voyager needed to have more women in the writers room that I felt like it was a treat to actually see the Captain and B'Elanna work together in a scene for like, less than a minute. Like, they barely ever talk to each other. I feel like I'm rattling at the bars of a cage screaming "LET WOMEN TALK TO EACHOTHER!!!" whenever I watch this show!!) They track the source of the problem to Neelix's new heating coil in the mess hall- he acquired it in a trade with a supposed religious cleric, but it's a piece of junk that's infected the ship with it's faulty circuitry. Janeway eventually figures out that the kindly sister who gave it to him was the very same con artist who's been pretending to be her, and that she downloaded Voyager's info from the Delta Flyer when Neelix and Tom invited the friendly 'clerics' to tour the Flyer while on their away mission. (I really don't think they'd be that easy to fool, especially Tom, since spotting a con from a mile away was literally how he met Harry for the very first time at Quark's bar, but ok, sure. It's a fluff episode, so whatever.)

This sends Neelix and Tom into a tizzy over having not seen through them, and they're determined to get their edge back... by doing carnival slight of hand tricks. (Yes, really. They're such terminally wholesome dorks, I love them.) They get really invested in being able to fool someone with the shell game, but they pick the Doctor to try it out on, who's literally a computer. He naturally figures out the right one right away, leaving Tom and Neelix to stew about it while Voyager closes in on the con artists.

They manage to beam the imposter Janeway to the brig for questioning, while her shipmates get away. Janeway and Tuvok have a very funny interrogation scene with her, where Tuvok has to improvise when Janeway decides to play bad cop. (Ngl the psoraisis thing made me laugh out loud. And I knew that joke was coming, but it's just priceless how deadpan Tuvok is.) When she refuses to help them, Neelix then comes to bring her food, and to try his little heartwarming Neelix pep-talk routine, but for some reason, when they lower the forcefield for him to bring her food in, they never raise the forcefield again?? And he sits there talking to her for a few minutes, with the forcefield lowered, and she doesn't try to escape?? And he's got a phaser on his belt! Who goes into a prison cell with a visible, accesible weapon?! But of course, at the end of the scene, she finally realizes that there's no forcefield and a phaser openly available, and breaks out. After she steals the Delta Flyer, we realize Tom is hiding in the aft section with the Doctor's mobile emitter, and that the lack of forcefield and obvious phaser were a trap all along. (But how she wouldn't have seen through something so blatently obvious, idk! I didn't even remember how that scene went, but I still thought it was fishy while watching it.)

With a little modification to the Doctor's program, he's able to impersonate the imposter, and they succesfully get the loot back from the con artists to give to their rightful owners and prove their innocence. (Tuvok's impersonator turning out to be his fanboy is weirdly cute too.) Alls well that ends well, but Neelix and Tom are still determined to be cool again (sweeties, you never were, but I still love you) and they successfully bamboozle the Doctor with their shell game routine at last, proving they've still got it! (They are such silly geese, I want to kiss their foreheads like the tiny baby orange cats in human form that they are. Bless.) It's a silly end to a silly ep, but there's nothing wrong with that.

Tl;dr: A light, enjoyable episode that you don't have to take too seriously. Nothing brilliant, but it has a few funny lines, and adorably wholesome Voy Boy shenanigans.

[joanofexys]

also 🔴 for anyone/everyone thank u

- @ninyard <333

🔴 Red- What is a trait your OC has that those around them don't see very often? Is it seen by a rare few or completely overlooked?

Florian - Flor is truly so emotional. He’s very tender and he loves easily and falls so hard. And most people don’t see it because he acts like a raging, apathetic, bitch 90% of the time. Mara and Jean are the two people who see it the most. Kevin gets to see it sometimes. And eventually Ilya gets it pretty much all the time. It’s warm breathe against Jean’s jaw and a murmured “I think I’m a little bit in love with you”. A barely there brush of lips against Jean’s forehead and a “I’m glad you’re getting the chance you deserved, I’m sorry I wasn’t the one to give it to you”. It’s Mara thrown over his shoulder and loud laughter in their first apartment and a “I’m glad that out of everyone it was you”. It’s sitting on soft carpet, dozing with his head on Ilya’s thigh, and “thank you for loving me back”. It’s flying out for one of Kevin’s games, waiting for him in the hallway and squeezing his hand before he goes to talk to the press, “I can’t wait to be on the court with you again”. He’s a little bit in love with all the people in his life and he doesn’t often show it.

Ilya - Ilya’s incredibly patient but it often gets overlooked due to his stubbornness. He’ll wait as long as he needs to for someone. His relationship with Florian is a great example. He’ll wait as long as it takes. But he doesn’t give up so a lot of his patience gets viewed as just him being a stubborn asshole. I think Florian notices it once he stops being pissed at Ilya for being Like That. Ilya’s the only one who has the patience to implement the partner system with Florian after Mara says she doesn’t want to do it anymore. The patience of a saint despite being a little shit about everything.

Mara -Mara’s incredibly sentimental. And she gets nostalgic very easily. She thinks about her family a lot. Everything before the Ravens. She doesn’t even really talk to Florian about it. How she misses her dad, how she writes her mom cards she doesn’t send every mother’s day. Her memories of her childhood are precious to her when she doesn’t have any items to hang onto it. However, that also transfers to the nest. After graduating she clings to those memories, to everything she has of the ravens. The good and the bad.

Emiko - She has godawful imposter syndrome. I mean imagining spending most of your life trying to be the best, actually being the best. You’re captain of your team, you make olympic court immediately because you’re just that good. And it’s never acknowledged because your little brother is just handed it all while you had to earn it. When Riko is praised for all the same things and she’s never praised for any of it it makes her wonder if she’s as good as she thinks she is. She wonders a lot if her name has gotten her where she is. She spends a lot of time thinking about how she must’ve tricked everyone into thinking she’s this good, that she deserves Court, because if she was really this good her family would’ve admitted it by now. Nothing she does will ever be good enough. For Tetsuji and for herself.

Jude - He can actually be so difficult to get to know and incredibly aloof and distant. Jude spends so much of his time caring about other people and being focused on giving them his time and energy that oftentimes there's very little of him left. He's very dedicated to his relationships and his friends and family but its to a point where he can know your deepest, darkest secrets and you'll realize you don't even know his favorite color or if he drinks coffee every morning or what he did over the weekend. He really has forgotten, in ways, how to even talk about himself. So much of what he shares about himself is attached to someone else that people struggle learning things about him outside of that. They know he loves his team and he loves his dog and he loves his moms. They don't know that he goes to the record shop on main street in the city he and Merrick live in every Sunday morning. They don't know that his favorite movie is The Mummy and he'll never choose anything else if he's allowed to pick the film on movie night. They don't know that his favorite color isn't red, it's green or blue (and you can't make him decide). They don't know that he started little league exy as a goalie and promptly burst into tears the first time he got a ball to the face. They don't know that he can quote the majority of the star wars films and that he buys every copy of lord of the rings he can get his hands on and that he's obsessed with the dinosaurs in jurassic park. They don't know that he did photography on the side to help pay for college. That he wants be a journalist and sports commentator after he retires, and only coach little league. Jude as an individual is very hard to know. He's so focused on giving to other people that he can often forget that they just want him as he is.

Merrick - I think it's really something only Jude, and maybe the foxes, see. It's how hard he tries. For everything. Most people think Merrick is incredibly uncaring and doesn't put effort into healing or forming healthy relationships. But only Wymack saw the late nights where he called his parents, attempting to mend their relationship. And only Jude sees the frustration over a lost game and letting down his team. Only he knows about the flowers left on his sisters grave, that they're the only ones regularly replaced, that he'll always fresh ones before the last bouquet can go bad. It obviously took so much effort for him to get clean. And he relapsed multiple times. And I think people overlook how hard he tries to stay clean. How determined he is to be better than his parents, to be better than who he was.

Angel - It's either his temper or the fact that he exists on the entire concept of "you never stop missing your mom". He's so angry, so often. And in high school that became very internal and after having Phoebe it's something he's very determined to work on and change. But the weirdest things will set him off. He got into fights all the time as a kid. And once with the foxes it was easy enough to piss him to the point of nearly taking a swing (though he for the most part he just tells the person that if they don't stop he will fucking deck them). He's got a pretty good grasp on it now, but because he doesn't express it often his temper definitely gets missed. And then there's the fact that he just constantly wants his mom. And that's something he's so so scared to admit. Cause bringing up his mom in his house as a kid was not allowed. His dad would get so upset about it and it only ended in pain for him. It's only during full blown meltdowns or panic attacks that he'll ask for his mom and it really slips out. But it's truly something that'll never leave him. Anytime Phoebe won't go to sleep he wants his mom. They win a game, he wants his mom. He got a 100 on his exam for the first time ever, he wants his mom. He has to book an appointment, he wants his mom. He can't fall asleep, he wants his mom. It is the littlest things. And he hates it because he can barely even remember who it is he's missing. He was so young that whenever he ends up begging for his mom he doesn't even have a clear picture of who he's asking for. She might as well be a stranger to him. Yet despite it she'll always be the first person he thinks of whenever he needs someone.

Emeryk - Emeryk clings to guilt like it's a lifeline. He has so many regrets. And it's absolutely not something anyone is allowed to know. He holds onto guilt that isn't his. He feels guilt for people who refuse to feel it themselves. He feels the guilt of his father, of his mother too, and of the man he currently serves. He feels the guilt of pain he couldn't prevent and the pain he, himself, endured. He is not a good person and that will never change and he feels terrible about it. He knows in every universe he chooses his own survival first and in every universe he feels guilt for all the people he chose to let suffer in doing so.

[stemwriter]

Pursuit of Knowledge - Chapter 1

Finally, the first chapter! Criticism is absolutely welcome here, and I hope you enjoy!

This has a gender neutral reader, and is just the regular sentience au; no cult/creator/imposter stuff. Only main difference, [Y/N] is a lore fanatic.

Word count: ~3.3k

So there you were, sitting in your bedroom waiting for Genshin Impact to download. You had heard that it was a huge game, but for some reason your screen only said that there were only around 10 gigabytes of data. ‘I guess 10 gigabytes is pretty big for a mobile game,’ you thought, as the progress bar slowly made its way to 100%.

The stone doors opened, your screen went white, and the opening cutscene you’ve seen a million times before in all those video essays began to play.

Outlanders, your journey ends here.

You’d thought about which sibling you would pick before. You loved seeing Lumine as the villain, and so without hesitation, picked the boy, named Aether.

You’d seen some gameplay before, and you already thought the graphics were good, but this… This was astounding. It was better than what you’d seen before online. Your character didn’t look exactly realistic so to speak, but everything looked extremely high quality. How was this game free? You guessed the difference between this and what you remember was because you were playing on PS5, and began to move on through the story.

After getting the power of Anemo and seeing the Anemo God himself, you met Amber. You spammed through the dialogue, just wanting to get to Mondstadt.

“Ah! A hilichurl!”

“Quick, get it!”

She said “Get it!” like that hilichurl was no more than a bug in someone’s house, about to be killed for no reason other than being there. That… worried you, considering what hilichurls once were. You knew you had to kill this camp of hilichurls to progress the story, but you told yourself that starting now, you wouldn’t be killing any hilichurls unless you were forced to by the plot or you really needed resources.

After a mildly annoying amount of walking, you entered the city and ran to the Cathedral plaza to get your Wind Glider. Amber gave it to you, and you glided across the city, which seemed different, somehow, although you couldn’t tell what was wrong. You were then promptly thrown into the sky, shooting wind projectiles at a dragon. 

“I’m preventing your fall with the power of a thousand winds!”

“HOLY CRAP! It’s God!”

“Concentrate on this! See yourself grasping the wind. Harness its energy.”

You listened to Venti instruct you on this gamemode you didn’t think you’d ever use again, making ‘pew pew pew!’ sounds as Dvalin’s HP bar slowly decreased.

It was the moment you’ve been waiting for. The Traveler lands, and the camera cuts to that blue-haired eyepatch man, one of your favorite characters, Kaeya. You waited until he finished his dramatic introduction, and yelled “WOOOOOOOO!!!!” at the top of your lungs. You thought about playing an audience cheering sound effect, but realized it’s too late now and you don’t even have your soundboard open. You should get that ready in a minute. You’ve already heard this before, so you skip through the dialogue. Well, at least Amber’s lines. You let Kaeya finish everything he has to say. 

‘From afar? Is that all we know of them?’

“Surprisingly, yes.” You said, thinking about how you know so much about everyone in Teyvat yet know close to nothing about the main character. You knew they were older than 500, and they had a sibling, but just who were they? You focused back on the game, sighing after hearing Kaeya say he understands being separated from family, feeling your heart growing heavy as you remember his backstory. “You need someone to talk to, man, I’m all ears.” If there was one thing you really knew about his personality, it was that he needed a therapist.

You entered the HQ and listened to the group devise a plan. You still didn’t know why you were only taking care of 3 temples, but you would eventually figure that out, right? Right? You pulled on Noelle’s banner 10 times, only getting her, a sword called… Flute? and some 3 star weapons that you figured wouldn’t help you for long. You equipped The Flute on the Traveler, tested it out a bit, and set off to the three temples.

 By the time you were done with Amber’s, you decided that you were absolutely not going to follow any instructions the system gave you. No one can tell you what you can do!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaeya was… perplexed, to say the least, when he prepared to walk up to Amber and a traveler she was with. For a split second, he could have sworn he saw everything turn gray, and strange, colorful, circles appeared around everyone’s joints. Already, he wondered if he was hallucinating, but then he heard the sound of someone cheering that felt as if it was coming from the traveler, but he didn’t open his mouth. Amber didn’t seem to react to it, either. That meant either neither of them noticed it, or he was seeing and hearing things. Assuming it was the latter, he continued on, making a mental note to keep watch of it.

“Hold on Amber, are you perhaps forgetting to introduce us?”

“Oh… right. This i- Thes-”

‘From afar? Is that all we know of them?’

“Surprisingly, yes.”

That voice! Again, but this time, it directly replied to his thoughts. Was it not a hallucination? Just what in Teyvat was this? He had a strong feeling that it was connected to the Traveler, but how could it see what he was thinking  just then? He needed to investigate this, that’s for sure.

“Long st-”

“I see. Welcome to Mondstadt - though you haven’t arrived at the best of times, I’m afraid.”

The Traveler had been separated from his sister, and came to Mondstadt looking for help finding her. He knew how he felt. When Diluc left Mondstadt for all those years, he spent every day worried, wondering if he would ever return.

“I understand the anguish of being separated from family. I’m not sure why you’re looking for the Anemo God… but everyone has their secrets, right?”

“You need someone to talk to, man, I’m all ears.”

The voice was… comforting him now? Interesting.

Who was this traveler? He certainly wasn’t your average tourist. He’d taken him, his… companion, and Amber to the Knights of Favonius headquarters to see Master Jean, and while that conversation went somewhat normal, the atmosphere quickly became… unnerving as soon as it ended. The others stood still in the room, not saying a word. After a few moments, the Traveler left the room, and Kaeya could swear he saw him swinging a weapon in the main hall, but if he was, why didn’t any of the other Knights stop him? 

Waiting at the Temple of the Wolf, he thought about his experience earlier. He realized that Amber never finished a sentence, but somehow he understood everything she said. Amber never told him the Traveler’s story, yet he knew it. Did that have to do with that voice? That strange presence? It didn’t seem like it was intending anything bad by the way it spoke to him, but this whole situation was just so… strange. 

Kaeya walked around a bit and cleared the area of any potential threats, and after what felt like an hour, the Traveler finally arrived at the temple. He honestly was expecting him to take longer, considering he likely helped Amber first, but it was a surprise to not have to wait quite as long as he thought. How long did it take him to get there? He was a long way from the city of Mondstadt, yet he couldn’t even remember the journey to get here now. Could everything strange he’d experienced be caused by that presence? Hallucinations, memory issues; just what was going on?

“You’ve arrived,” he said, slightly hoping that voice didn’t respond and that it really was all in his head. “Come closer. Do you smell that?”

Unfortunately, it was not, in fact, all in his head.

“How in the world do you burn a Pyro Slime?”

‘It’s the smell of burnt Pyro Slimes.”

How did it know what the Traveler was going to say before he said it? Could it be… influencing him in some way? He continued on, wanting to get these temples taken care of so he could have time to investigate this, whatever this is. He watched as the Traveler walked up to the doors of the domain, and… teleported through them? ‘This day just keeps getting weirder…’ he thought, before entering the domain himself.

“Let me show you how the Knights of Favonius conquer our adversaries,” he said. Although he was about to fight, his body relaxed, and a chill went down his spine. He tried to snap himself out of it, but he found he couldn’t move. The hell…? After a couple of seconds, his body sprinted forward, as that voice said “Alright, here we go,” with a sigh. It was behind this, too? What was this? His heart pounded. He was powerless. It could do whatever it wanted with him, and he wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. No one would know other than those affected… Why did he not mention this to anyone before? He tried to fight against it, but he still couldn’t move a muscle.

 It felt as if he wasn’t fully in his body, as if he was only watching as his body was being puppeteered by some unknown entity. What did it want with him? The Traveler really was being influenced by them, wasn’t he? Was he too, being possessed by it? It seemed the entity could only use one body at a time, but while it was using one, the other completely disappeared. 

Forget waiting until this Stormterror crisis was over, he needed to do something as soon as possible, before anyone else was affected by it! It couldn’t keep its hold over him for too long, right? He needed to get back to Mondstadt as soon as possible, to at least tell someone before it takes control of him again. He didn’t want to leave the Traveler like this, but he would have to if he was to do anything about it.

He calmed down a bit, as it didn’t instantly try to harm him, but he started to get concerned for his safety again when the entity made him jump over a pit of spikes in water. The water could very easily be frozen and walked on, avoiding the spikes entirely, and yet it made him jump over the pit. Nothing bad happened, though. Was it that confident in its, and to an extent, his, abilities? Or was it planning something more… violent? After the crystal was destroyed at the end of the temple, he felt like he was back in his body again, the entity no longer having control over him. Still, he didn’t want it to know he was trying to get away, so he started to speak as if nothing out of the expected happened. But why was it laughing?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You knew of a little trick you could do in this next cutscene, the one where Diluc comes out of nowhere and obliterates an Abyss Mage. You chuckle to yourself as you pull up a video.

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind OST - Giorno's Theme『il vento d'oro』

03:45 ━━━━━━━⬤──── 05:27

As the Abyss Mage comes out from the shadows, you hit Play on the video and watch as Diluc charges in, the song syncing to his movements. You could swear you saw a confused look on his face, but you assumed you were either seeing things, or that you just misremembered the cutscene. You didn’t remember every single detail, after all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

…Of course that didn’t work. As soon as he left the temple, he fell into the entity’s control once again. It didn’t help that he never saw Diluc leave the temple. If he did, he might have a chance at getting him to notice something’s wrong. It also appeared that he and the Traveler were not the only people it had decided to use as its puppets. At various times, he would be thrown out of his body completely and watch as it uses another. He noticed not only the Traveler, but Amber, Noelle, and for a short while, Lisa. 

It encountered a Ruin Guard at the Thousand Winds Temple. It used Amber to destroy the automaton’s core, stunning it, before using him to counter the Pyro element on it. It got back up again, but it wasn’t up for long before it was defeated, falling to the grou-

*lego breaking noise*

*metal pipe falling*

“*snickering* God, I love having a soundboard…”

What were those noises? Those didn’t come from the Ruin Guard, did they? Were they made by that “soundboard” thing? 

After that, there were an abundance of strange noises, almost always accompanied by the entity laughing. 

 He also realized that it wasn’t killing any monsters; in fact, it even knew some Hilichurlian. Whatever this entity was, it didn’t appear to be intending to harm anything. It wasn’t killing any monsters, and it was giving him equipment that felt like it made him stronger. Did it even know it was controlling him like this? If not, would it continue if it knew?

Regardless of if they knew or not, they continued on, at one point using him to cross the ocean to an island he had never seen mapped before. It took a fair bit of time, considering how far out it was. After a few minutes, what sounded to be a recording of someone’s voice began to play, likely by this entity to prevent boredom.

At the beginning, it brought up what he believed was happening to him now, and went on to say how it might work. How gaining a “character” means the Traveler can now connect to the essence of the person, harnessing their abilities, and how getting more “constellations” gives a deeper connection. He had heard of people having their own constellation, but he couldn’t make any sense of it in this context. While he was very concerned on how people knew any of this, it only further confirmed his theory that whoever this was using his body had not a clue on what they were really doing.

The recording ended up discussing very intriguing things. He was confused on why they were referring to people as “characters” at the beginning, but the whole time, they were referring to Teyvat and its past, present, and future as if it was nothing but a fictional story, constantly mentioning the “plot”, “chapters”, “roles”, and such. Is that what this was to them? The recording mainly focused on the “fate” of Teyvat, and how it could possibly be changed. It had been a topic he had been endlessly thinking about, and this left him with… mixed feelings. On one hand, the Traveler may be the key to changing fate, and it gave him hope that things might actually end well for him. But on the other hand, would he really have to rely on someone else to decide his fate?

They found many chests on the island, and discovered someone’s notebook, which said that something strange happens here in the very early morning hours. The entity seemed confused for a bit, appearing to be looking for something, before sounding disappointed. They did another lap around the island, making sure they collected everything, and then teleported back to near Windrise, still seeming a bit confused. 

They went north to the Stormbearer Mountains, and headed towards a watchtower, likely to get a better view of their surroundings. They weren’t about to get up there without a fight, though. Crossbow-armed hilichurls surrounded the place. Instead of taking them out then and there, they tried to just walk by, finding a good time to climb. He could tell they weren’t prepared for this, that they were overwhelmed. They shrieked as a Pyro hilichurl shot at him, trying to run away from the projectile.

This should be common sense, but one thing he knew about combat; when you dodge, don’t go running directly into the attack.

A flaming arrow hit him right in the jugular, and he was met with a world of searing pain. He didn’t know if it was this entity making him do it, but he let out a scream as it hit. The arrow had disappeared. He stood there, now choking, though his body did not react.  Would this be how he died? By an arrow shot from a hilichurl he could easily take care of if he could just- 

Time seemed to stop for a moment. Suddenly, everything was fine.

No pain, no wound, and he had the taste of chicken in his mouth.

They healed him from what was very easily a fatal wound just like that? That was why they were being so reckless, wasn’t it? 

It had seemed like whatever was in control of him had no clue what they were doing, but how? How could they not know? Surely they must notice that something’s off, right?

At one point, they tried to climb up the Knights of Favonius building with Amber and fell, which caused her to disintegrate. He panicked, but soon after, she appeared again as if absolutely nothing had happened. Apparently, they had the power to revive people they were using, as well as heal fatal wounds. Sure, that was great that neither he nor anyone else this was happening to would have to fear dying, but that meant that if they wanted to, they could kill and revive someone under their control over and over again. It was a good thing they seemed to have no intentions of doing such a thing…

They were exploring for hours, during which time Kaeya’s thoughts mostly consisted of reactions to things they were saying or doing, with a little existential dread creeping in every now and then, wondering if he was ever going to gain back control. The sun went down, and soon after that, they said “Alright Teyvat, I’ll be back to conquer you tomorrow! I’m gonna go pass out!” That was a bit… direct, and he wasn’t entirely sure if they were joking by the “conquer” bit due to the events of the last couple of hours, but regardless, it was over. He nearly fell over after they left, not expecting to suddenly gain back control of his body again. Now, the question is, how does he go about solving this? Before he thought about that, he decided he needed a drink since he had some time to spare, and so he headed to Angel’s Share.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After finishing Lisa’s temple, you were free to explore Teyvat. You spent some time exploring Mondstadt, collecting Anemoculi, before going back to where you started. You knew of that unmapped island, and now that you had the power to ice bridge, you were going to go there. You knew it would take a while, so you put on another video essay explaining a Genshin theory to listen to, and began the journey. 

Unfortunately, you couldn’t do everything. You were able to get a bunch of chests, but the quest there needed the time of day to be between 2 and 5 AM to progress. You remembered there being a time skip button, but you looked everywhere and just couldn’t find it. So, you had to go back to the mainland, defeated. Come to think of it, how long was the day/night cycle? It’s been over an hour and the sun’s barely moved. Was the in game time synced to real time? If so, why the hell would they make a quest that can only progress in the middle of the night? You figured that you’re just missing something, and started thinking about something else before you got too stressed out. 

You played for a couple of hours, getting used to the combat system. It was fun, but you felt like the enemies did a bit too much damage. Seriously, one arrow from a low-level hilichurl shouldn’t almost one-shot your character! You felt pretty tired, and not wanting to struggle to keep your eyes open, you decided to log out, and continue your Magical Adventure™ tomorrow.

------------------------------------------------------------

And pass out you did, falling asleep as soon as your head hit your pillow. You ended up sleeping for a while, so by the time you got up, it was already pretty late in the morning. You had some errands to run, so you showered, got ready, and took care of them. 

You had nothing else to do today, so you decided to open Genshin again and continue your adventure. The world loads in, and there you are, with your team of Aether, Amber, Noelle and- hold on where’s Kaeya? Maybe you removed him for some reason. You were pretty tired. You go to the party select screen, and select hi- 

*This character is busy.*

What the hell does that mean?

[antspaul]

end to end for director's cut

end to end, post canon kaneson, 5.8k, rated T

As the sun sets on the last day of Heungmin’s career, the sky over Tottenham Hotspur Stadium turns a deep shade of navy blue.

OMG okay so firstly this fic was written specifically for my beloved @roykentalwaysremains , whose fresh tottenham hotspur fixation i capitalized on to drag him into the pits of rpf hell with me.

In a lot of ways end to end is a love letter to max and you elle and everyone else we spent last season watching footy with. It’s definitely wish fulfillment!! But also me putting the hope out into the universe that a time and place that brought me a lot of joy stays whole & important in some way.

Commentary on specifics below the cut!

When it came to choosing which players would come back for Sonny’s testimonial, I struggled with imposter syndrome in a real way LOL. Obviously, I did not follow spurs at the time (or at this time currently. Or really in any other way than through my pocket of friends who are spurs fans) and don’t have a great grasp of those guys, their talent level & potential longevity, their narratives, etc etc. Future fics will never be evergreen but you never want something you’ve put effort into to be completely obsolete, like, three months later. Eventually, I leaned into the wish fulfillment of it all and decided to be vague about the specific roster of guys on Sonny’s testimonial team (as well as any details about their opposition)

I mean, testimonials are barely even done anymore LOL and I can’t imagine the trend will reverse in the handful of years until Sonny retires.

More than any of them, Heungmin knows Harry’s rough edges. There used to be nothing left of Harry to discover. Then Harry went to Germany. Six years later, Heungmin feels a bit like Brennan, wide-eyed and amazed, not sure what to expect.

This line, as well as a few others from later sections of the fic, is essentially all that remains of the first fic I had vaguely planned to write for Max’s birthday. That fic, discussed in length BEFORE spurs and bayern did NOT play into the kaneson narrative with their friendly in Korea this summer, would have followed their meeting there. messages i sent to Max when we were discussing it:

so much potential here tbh…. kaneson meeting again on the field after h left but in son’s home country….. something something home something strangers something something….. sonny had lived a full life in korea that h would never know, and until a year before son had known h in the only place he’d ever called home, but maybe in five, ten years h would be as strange to son as son’s life before tottenham was to h…..

i’m envisioning them meeting up after the game and son takes him to his favorite place back home and they catch up and realize like. there’s no separate harry or son pre or post spurs. they’re both complete people and always have been and the best thing about loving someone else is spending your whole life getting to know them because no one is ever truly entirely Knowable and spurs is not the end all be all of Harry and Son, it’s just the place where for a while they were able to exist together. and they’ll always love it for that….

spurs is a place and spurs is a time but more importantly spurs was something they chose to be together. and bitch guess what….. NOTHING CAN TAKE THAT AWAY FROM THEM

and then Harry Kane decided he wasn’t a team player and WASNT AT THE KOREA FRIENDLY 👎👎👎👎👎

anyways

I really debated where I wanted H to end up in his retirement MLS career. He WILL be going in MLS I have no doubts about this, but idk for some reason I couldn’t imagine him on the west coast, but I also couldn’t imagine him specifically at one of the two evil New York teams with their multi club owners LOL. For a minute I was like …Boston??? New England Rev?? But then I decided fuck it, if Lamps went into the City system so can Harry. to NYCFC it is

When Heungmin came to Tottenham the new grounds were nothing but an abstract promise, loose dirt and construction vehicles and scaffolding. Months often went by with little to no visible progress. Many times Heungmin wondered if Tottenham Hotspur Stadium would ever be more than a half-constructed pile of steel beams and rubble. Yet despite everything, in front of them shines this glittering, otherworldly stadium that Harry and Heungmin get to call home before anyone else. The gradual transformation makes Heungmin believe that what they’re building, he and Harry and all the other lads on the team, will grow to become what it was always meant to be.

It’s not the grounds, Harry insists. It’s them. Heungmin doesn’t see the difference.

A thread that runs throughout most of my writing is the way that memory dwells in place. This fic is certainly an example of that! My academic research has a lot to do with the way that people construct identities based on place and space, and that comes through in how I connect setting to character.

Taking Harry seriously as a competitor adds a touch of normalcy to their relationship that Son hasn’t felt for a long time. Their friendship is not a sacred, delicate flame to hold close to his chest. It does not need protection from the wind.

This is another remnant of the previously mentioned AU. It’s also one of my favorite lines in the fic.

“It was kind of nice, actually,” Dele says. “Made the rest of us look better for once. I swear, bro, I nutmegged you at least eight times that day.”

I’ve heard that Dele was notorious for nutmegging his teammates relentlessly back in the day.

“Really? All that for fucking Bloodborne?” says Brennan, looking at Heungmin, as Harry walks off.

Heungmin laughs. “Don’t look at me! I still don’t remember. I don’t think I would stay up late for two weeks.”

This moment is a really important one for Sonny, just as important as his and Harry’s kiss a few scenes earlier. When he doesn’t remember a pretty small detail that doesn’t quite match up with how he thinks about himself from back then, he’s prompted to reflect on how much he’s changed since then. In this fic, Sonny sort of lives in the past, especially in the moments of his past where he felt the potential for things that never truly materialized. On a small scale, he’s forced to reckon with the fact that no matter what, he is a fundamentally different person than he was during the period of his life that will forever define his career. I think Tottenham as a club — and Sonny here in this fic, representing them — has a tendency to self-mythologize. And when buy into your own narrative, it can be too easy to overlook the messier parts of your past that don’t fit so well into that narrative.

Anyways those are most of the thoughts I have on that fic!! Thank you for the ask elle ILY!!!

[miss-bvnny]

Cinderella sequels multiverse theory + Anastasia's reward for repentance

Do I have your attention? Great! Let me explain what I mean:

For those unfamiliar, Cinderella 3: A Twist In Time (2007) tells the story of Lady Tremaine getting ahold of Fairy Godmother's wand, and using the magic as a means of enacting revenge on Cinderella and finally climbing the social ladder by using Anastasia as a pawn. Cinderella eventually undoes this chain of events thanks to the mice, and Anastasia's conscience as she realizes this is all wrong.

Anastasia is at first coerced into the scam enticed by the thought of the prince loving her. However, as time passes Anastasia realizes that this is NOT what she wants. Especially not through these means. The prince loves her because he's been tricked into thinking she's Cinderella via Among Us Imposter means. Anastasia wants someone to love her for who SHE is, not for who they THINK she is.

This movie takes place on Cinderella and the Prince's first anniversary. Meaning it's been a year since the wedding at the end of the first movie, and LESS than a year since Cinderella 2.

Now, this movie came out in 2007. Cinderella 2 came out in 2002. Many of you might remember Anastasia and the baker falling in love in Cinderella 2. Which, to sharp-eyed Disney Nerds, was never once mentioned in Cinderella 3. Anastasia laments that she wishes there was someone who would love her the way the Prince loves Cinderella

But...what about the baker??? If the story with the baker in Cinderella 2 had really happened at this point...she PROBABLY wouldn't be singing this?? And before you say ''They obviously just forgot about that aspect of Cinderella 2'' HOLD ONTO THAT until after you hear what I've got to say.

At the end of Cinderella 3, when the prince finds the REAL Cinderella and the truth is uncovered, Fairy Godmother asks them if they'd like the true timeline to be restored, as they're currently in a botched false timeline created through Tremaine's meddling. They choose not to return to the present, instead electing to fall in love and have their first year all over again. In layman's terms...Cinderella 2 is now obliterated. It happened, then the timeline change occurred, and now it's going to happen again. Basic Back To The Future timeline meddling plotline stuff.

So here's the meat of my theory: Anastasia doesn't meet the baker until after the timeline reset. It was her reward from a higher power (God, Fairy Godmother, True Love, etc) for doing the right thing and coming clean to Cinderella and the kingdom instead of going along with Tremaine's scheme. She's shown to be visibly uncomfortable with being a piece in her mother's game. And despite obvious fears of consequences, she confesses at the wedding. Something that...I have to imagine must've been hard to do with such a horrible mother and Drizella breathing down her neck. She did the right thing, despite fearing the outcome. Something worth rewarding.

Now remember when I said I didn't think they'd ''forgotten'' about the baker? During the end credits, they show a bunch of really cute painterly portraits of the cast presumably taking place after the movie. And...what's the FIRST one they show???

SHA-BOOEY!!!

Now...this CLEARLY isn't an airtight theory, but in my defense...all time travel movies are VERY messy to a degree. My fallback explanation for any cracks in the case is Cinderella 2 actually takes place after 3, in the new timeline. THAT'S how the story of Anastasia in love manages to be present in THAT movie.

Anyway all this is to say that you should REALLY watch Cinderella 3 if you haven't already because it is GENUINELY one of the cutest disney sequels, and I REALLY love Anastasia's character in the latter Cinderella movies <3

[kinghijinx22]

So I recently finished Halo Infinite and I loved it, my thoughts on peak modern Halo

So I just finished Halo Infinite and it was fucking amazing. My favorite of the 3 Halo games I played recently, and one of my favorites overall I think, especially narratively. A genuinely moving experience that takes some of the best aspects of 343's previous games in Halo 4 and Wars 2 and even pretty much corrects the story fuck ups with Cortana in 5 and manages to even turn them into something positive. From Halo Wars 2 it takes the amazing new antagonists in the Banished, the classic Halo inspired art direction, and the fun that I felt from Wars 2 with our new AI and Pilot friends being super endearing and even bringing more personality out of Master Chief then I think he's ever shown maybe next to Halo 4.

And speaking of Halo 4, what Halo Infinite takes from that game is the more personal and emotional writing, with this game also acting as a very effective introspection into good ol John Halo, Cortana and even our new AI and pilot friends. And when I say that this game actually managed to take Halo 5's trash story and do something positive with it, they actually run back the complete villainizing of her motives of… wanting world peace and her own autonomy, even if they try to explain that she killed a bunch of people but I honestly still think that anyone opposing her was probably the type of violently fascist asshole she was calling out anyway. But they do actually express a lot more empathy for her perspective in Halo Infinite, throughout the story they explore John's grief over loosing Cortana beautifully and you eventually find out that she had sacrificed herself to make things right and destroyed a part of the Halo ring to stop the Banished from using it as a weapon. In the end, she leaves some last messages to John, telling him how happy he made her and that she wished for him and his new AI friend to not make the same mistakes she did before saying goodbye one final time which just made me break down in tears.

In the end we also find out the name of our pilot, Fernando Esparza, and he asks our AI friend for her name. So earlier in the game it's said that she was created to help catch Cortana, she comes to the realization that it's because she is a copy of Cortana, made from the same original programming but the thing is, she still very much develops into her own person with her personality and identity and just like Cortana, at the very end of the game gets to choose her own name WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED FOR THE END OF HER ARK but then they DONT TELL YOU WHAT SHE CHOSE WHAT THE FUCK!?!?! That part was disappointing and I'm hoping so hard it's not Cortana because that would just completely ruin both the idea of her being her own person and John moving on. I've read people online mentioning that Cortana was named after some historic sword, and so were suggesting Joyeuse for our new AI friend which is also a historic sword and it can be shortened to Joy which would just be perfect for her more optimistic and fun personality. In fact I love Joy as her name so much that I will use that for convenience until she is officially given a name.

So before I talk about Chief and Joy more, I just have to mention that I also really love the ark for Fernando as well, who early on is a contrast to Joy's YEYEYE over Chief's wild plans by being the NONONO person, which you find out later might be because he's not actually a pilot but or solider at all and was actually just doing volunteer work on that human ship from the start and stole a Pelican when the Banished attacked. He stole it and ran which is why he's developed this intense imposter syndrome and feels so bad that after one of the levels, when you return to him he breaks down and explains everything, saying that Chief should just leave him with the garbage of the ship graveyard. But Chief in this moment shows a lot of empathy, telling him that everybody makes mistakes but that he has to keep going, and reassuring him that everything will be ok and, I just really love the Master Chief being this super inspiring figure that everyone can turn to. I mean that's always been the case but, seeing more intimate moments like this is just really sweet.

So Joy and Fernando both get great arks, but something else I really appreciated about this game is what it does for Master Chief as a character. Much like Halo 4 he gets a bit of analysis into who he is a person, but this game arguably does it even better and is able to give John a happier ending. Even if it doesn't necessarily offer solutions to everything he's got going on, it does at least shine a light on certain things. Something I was critical of John for in Halo 5 was his inability to see past his narrow view of the world, labeling anything he can't quickly understand as "dangerous" which is a very direct pipeline to deranged bigotry and refusal to understand other people because it's easier to be negative and Halo 5 never really called him out on this, unlike Halo Infinite. Infinite actually addresses this, with Joy calling out how pessimistic and close minded he is. Later on Fernando questions why John is so often able to kill things and risk his life which he bluntly just responds with that "it's all I know." Even later I think Joy brings up something similar to which John replies that "maybe that's my programming." Which is actually a perfect way of putting it, indoctrination and conditioning is literally a human equivalent of "programming" and John was abducted into the military at a young age and has literally been conditioned to be a killing machine who always follows orders and never asks questions. And it's what the fascists of the right wing are still trying to do children, passing on their irrational hate of minorities and woman while burning any learning resources to help understand and empathize with those people. They are grooming children into being hateful bigots like they are, essentially trying to create another generation of little nazis and maintain their cishet white man supremicist agenda. So exploring that sort of topic with Master Chief, about human programming, having a narrow view of the world and learning to have an open mind to new things and unlearn the harmful things, it's very topical and much appreciated. And Joy and Fernando are able to get Master Chief to open up and self reflect, especially his new AI bestie Joy and it has a noticeably positive effect on him. They also bring more personality out of Chief than I think he's ever had.

Halo Infinte has some of the most emotional storytelling and best character work in the series, and while the villains don't get the same amount of depth, The Banished are still great antagonists for this story. Something I have to mention though is that in my previous post, I mentioned that I couldn't believe Atriox was dead because they set him up perfectly as a villain for Chief to overcome and killing him off screen would have been ridiculous. Well the good news is that he doesn't die which they reveal at the last minute in a post credits scene, the bad news is that he obviously doesn't really show up again in this game. The Banished think he died and this new Jiralhanae Esscharum takes over who is pretty cool as well although I'm excited for Artiox to come back. Esscharum though, he's well built up throughout this game and this is where I have to talk about the last few levels leading up to his boss fight. The Road gives you a final tank in a fittingly epic final vehicle battle in a big ass hallway, and then the House of Reckoning is such a cool idea that's reminiscent of… I guess Lucas from Resident Evil 7 is a good example? The "putting you through a bunch of deadly trials while I talk shit" type of section, and I really like idea of these trials taking place in an obstacle course where the Banished were trained to kill humans. Which is then followed up by a fight with one of the coolest characters and best boss fights in the game, the right hand Sanghelli of Esscharum Jega 'Rdomnai. An unapologetically edgy Sanghelli with black armor, a red energy sword in one hand and a red wrist blade on the other and I love him so much. He stealths around a lot with his active camo, popping in and out and he's got some sick moves, very cool. Then after that you finally get your boss fight with Esscharum who is much more up front, big and carrying a portable turret that he swaps out for a special red energy gravity hammer in his final phase. That's right, it's a multi phase fight where in his second phase he gets an energy shield that you have to disrupt up shooting these wires that are giving it to him and then he busts out his hammer, it's a very fun multi layered fight. I forgot to mention but Esscharum had captured Fernando before this, so you rescue him and then get a nice moment of Chief showing some empathy for his enemy, explaining that even he despite being on the opposing side was fighting for something he thought was right which again is just more humanity then Chief often shows.

For the final level Chief, Joy and Fernando go after our final boss, main antagonist and brand new character for this series or at least for the games because I'm not familiar with the books, Xalanyn or as she is better known the Harbinger. So before I mentioned that this game adds a lot of it's own interesting aspects on top of the best stuff from 343's previous games and Xalanyn is one of them. She is said to be from an ancient race that seems to be mostly gone except for her, and they seem to have an old rivalry with the other ancient race of the Forunners and so she's not really a fan of a lot of what they built including the Halo super weapons. I believe she teamed up with the Banished to help them wipe out the humans and make this Halo ring their new home if they also help her revive the rest of her people, who I believe have only been known as The Endless. So the Harbinger is a pretty cool new antagonist for this game, and the fight with her is pretty great as well. Her and another boss I'm going to mention in a bit were the only completely unique bosses in the game, and she's a lot of fun to fight with her cool moveset of fireballs, teleports and melee, fighting other enemies in between round while you shut off the various things, genuinely tough fight that took me a few attempts and was fun.

Which leads me to talking about a few of the other cool new things in this game, one of them being the boss fights in general. Which I mentioned in my previous post, but now that I've finished the game I can say that they were consistently good throughout. I mean, none of them are the best in the video games but I mean good for first person shooters and especially for Halo. Another boss and character that I haven't had the opportunity to mention before now is the Oracle in this game, or specifically the second of 2 Oracles. The first Oracle you don't get to have much time with before she is killed by Xalanyn, but the second is friendly at first but becomes hostile once he learns that Chief is going to stop him from rebuilding the ring and you end up having to fight this robot twice. He is the other unique boss fight in this game and is also pretty fun, much more fun then fighting Guity Spark in Halo 3. Instead of just being a little ball, he becomes a park of this bigger robot that has a bunch of guns and shields on it with the red glowing guns being the weak points and you end up having to fight him twice. Super fun boss, and as a character he contributes a lot to the themes of this game as well, about what we choose and what is inherent, what has been programmed into use and choosing our own identity. This Oracle is clearly just following his programming of protecting the Halo ring the entire time and much like Guilty Spark, I feel sympathy for him because this wasn't something he chose, these feelings aren't his but were given to him by someone else and he clearly hasn't developed his own personality and opinions like Cortana for example was able to do.

Other new things were stuff that I also mentioned in my previous post, but the grapple hook really is the coolest thing added to Halo since ever that adds a lot of new layers to the combat. The thing is thought that you get new stuff replaces the grapple hook later one, and while you do carry them all and swap between them, swapping between them takes too long for my liking and nothing else is as universally helpful or cool as the grapple hook and I literally never used anything else. Another interesting new addition is the open world, which pretty much took the second and fourth levels of Halo 1 and made it into the whole game. Which is a cool idea, the large environments and open ended environments with a bunch of side missions are an interesting change of pace and in the middle of the game you do get some main missions that involve going around to various place to blow up big guns or activate these beacons which you can do in any order which is cool. BUT this is where my biggest complain of this game comes in and it's the only big one I have, but the lack of environmental diversity. It's nothing but grass and mountains outside and grey Forunner rooms inside which is easily the least amount of environment diversity in the series and towards the end of the game, I'll admit that I was getting sick of looking at this game and wanted it to end. While the core gameplay is a lot of fun, this game gets very repetitive by the second half and the samey environments do not help that. I think having at least a snow biome would have helped a lot, maybe a spooky swamp like in the sixth level of Halo 1 or a desert like in the 6th level Halo 3.

All around though I really enjoyed my time with Halo Infinite, a really fun game with a genuinely moving story that that some very compelling things with both familiar and new characters. Seriously Chief, Joy and Fernando are a great best friend trio. One of the better Halo games in my opinion and overall the best 343 game. A big step in the right direction and in the future I would like to see more narrative and character complexity like Infinite, 2 and 4, maybe not bring back the open world but if they do PLEASE have more environmental diversity, and I honestly think 343 has mastered the core gameplay so just have more weapons and vehicles and enemies to fight. Also PLEASE do something with Atriox, let Master Chief finally get his rematch.

[teawiththegods]

Hi, I’m so sorry if this has been asked before, but how are you so confident that you’re actually talking to the Gods and not a trickster one? I do weekly cleansing with a spray and when I first made my altar, I had dedicated it to Hermes. However, my anxiety sometimes makes me feel like it’s an imposter as my communication relies more on intuition and not direct signs. I don’t want to make it seem like I doubt that they exist or that it’s not actually them and it’s an imposter. But anxiety is a bitch!

Hello, hon! 😁👋🏻

This may not necessarily be helpful bc I too know how much a bitch anxiety could be but I never subscribed to the belief that a trickster spirit could or would impersonate a god. Even now, I think it’s mostly just the internet fear mongering than something that worshipers have to be concerned about. So in that regard my confidence comes from just not believing in it.

My struggles with communication was more me worried I was making the whole thing up. Like I was just talking to myself. But eventually I realized, I’m not harming myself or anyone else and the advice I’m receiving is good and helpful advice. So what does it matter if it is all just me?? If believing the good advice is coming from the gods helps me actually follow it than what’s the problem??

And I guess that can also help you in a way because the communication I have with the gods is never harmful. I actually have a very strict rule that I never assign abusive, harmful, or triggering thoughts/feelings/images to the gods. If those ever come up i know it’s my trauma, my own conditioning, and my mental illnesses playing the self-sabotage game. I know the gods would never and will never put me in harms way.

I hope you find something helpful amongst my rambles! 😂💕

[fictionfixations]

finally doing natlan story. been procrastinating for SO long

feel so awkward cause im like taking control of the what are they called. and i was gonna stop controlling it but then we met kachina so like-

I DONT KNOW WHICH ONES [the one i named] and AYO

wait i just realized its ayo. flashbacks to yabruh in hsr 💀

anyway i should probably mention it. but i named the one i found Dodam! I've been getting really into LCF and they're like. kind of dragons i guess (im bad at naming so i name stuff after recent media i consume) but Raon didnt feel right so Dodam! meaning "a child playing well and growing without being sick" and therefore a name wishing them to be well. its cute right :D

i wonder if new ancient names come into existence. like where they come from really. like i know they're from the past but its like.

if you can lose ancient names but you cant make new ones, doesnt that mean eventually there will be no more ancient names in existence?

mIMIMImIMiMI 'fair and square' says the person waiting to face kachina as a 2v1

also didnt YOU catch her off guard this time wanting to fight her without any warning beforehand that she'd be fighting??? wouldnt that mean if you happened to win that would also just be 'luck'? and under that same logic then you shouldnt be qualified either?

realized why this felt weirdly familiar and realized that i also went through a tournament event in hsr like a week ago. huh. like i mean i know this is main story not an event but like. still. (i streamed going through that event and it took FIVE hours. i prefer completing stuff in one sitting or it might take me awhile before i pick it back up again. im not prepared to sit here for that long so i hope it isnt that long...)

im suspicious that atea isnt going to the abandoned hot spring because she can be in hot springs again

im. im worried because. its like we just came in out of nowhere and re-decorated like. say a room in your house. like, like i dont know about you but if someone just organized and rearranged everything, i dont care if it looks better because its like. i didnt ask..??? and like for all i know there couldve been snooping! what about privacy D:< or like.

yknow how it can be messy but its like. organized mess? cause you know where stuff is. or well its general location? but if someone organizes it for you then its like where the fuck is everything ?????

like idk i feel like we're doing something wrong. same vibes as tricking furina that led to *that* trial :(

i think im wrong. thats fair ive been wrong before, like in hsr i thought yanqing was an imposter during uhhhh. wardance. ...not the event trailblaze continuance.

WAIT WE'RE BRINGING THIS BACK???? i feel like im being that person whose like 'AYO ITS ALBEDOO' during the the the summer event

om i thought she was gonna die.

i was gonna say that nevermind because characters dont die in this game. but actually its that playable characters dont die in this game

npcs die in both this and hsr, but playable characters can die in hsr so

this is so awkward at the ode of ressurection because its just really quiet. idk if its sounds or music cause i have those set low while voice is set high so shrug

also i hate that even when you go to the log it doesnt pause the voiceline. so it just keeps going on but i have no idea what they're saying cause then im not reading captions

i cant even replay it :(

oh. oH DEATH??? i should not be this excited. like kachina i love you but OH MY GOD PERMANENT DEATH. i mean inevitably we'll probably find her and save her but AYOO DEATHHHH (if you're a honkai star rail-er yknow... 4 stars can perma die so HMMMM)

the people of natlan place a lot of importance in like their archon and like the wayob (who is. kind of a god-ish. that they. look up to??? im so sorry if i got anything wrong its just a lot of words)

but so imagining wayob is a god. who the fuck are you to doubt them? you think you know better? bitch you didnt even win the fuck you mean. and clearly wayob hasnt recognized you if you're so pissed off about it. clearly you arent worth a gods gaze so shut your mouth and leave it to the people who actually know what they're talking about

like. im. so fucking bitter. like listen i dont care if they get resurrected im still treating it as if they are perma dead

dont you fucking dare talk shit about a little girl who has lost her life fighting for natlan, she is so much more capable then you are, you who can do nothing but talk shit because you were too weak to fucking win the competition. who didnt have the honor to acknowledge a loss and instead wanted to take it into your own hands and beat her in an unfair 2v1 battle as if that would make you 'worthy'

..sorry. this feels like the chiori story quest all over again cause that made me so angry

YOU ARE BLAMING A FUCKING CHILD

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ON ABOUT? ?!??!?!?

sorry let me just pull up our beloved archon NAHIDA who totally wont know a million ways to beat your ass in a fight. or well if thats unfair then how about collei when she was younger with like the fucking archon (or it mightve just been god or something) remains in her (idk i forgot what it was) but also it can attack shit and didnt it kill someone or am i remembering the manga wrong

paimon im begging you. DONT JINX IT. ITS SO SIMPLE SO PLSSSS DONT MAKE IT HARDER

LMFAO the shield disappeared as soon as we made it to land and so i got hit immediately after. if it was a second later then the abyssal thingy whatever its called wouldve hit the barrier and i wouldve been fine

adwadhausihdu not the friendship is magic 😭(not to say that its bad ive just seen it way too many times tbh, which ig is fair considering it is also a lot in like anime stuff right? and this is. well. anime girls.)

IT CLOSED?

i never got the hype over the pyro archon tbh. but you know what? that was fucking hype

is it okay though?? for like the ceiling to break and it to be exposed to the living world?????

??? no issues thats gonna cause or anything????? like

that wont mean the abyss can just keep coming back easier and faster or something like that right??

r

right?????

im

so

confused.

or wait was that more like a 'dream' in that when we left the opening we 'woke up' intact but that its still. like. hidden and not actually having a broken ceiling

oh god i dont have a screenshot but it showed paimon and the sun was just beaming its light down on her and it was so fucking bright holy shit 😭

yknow what this is fine. we literally went to fontaine while the prophecy was going ham and flooding the place so like

destruction of natlan? pleasee we've already faced something like this before this is fine

okay so the 'boundary' was prob temporarily opened up to save them but its fine we dont have an exposed ceiling. maybe. i think.

ITS BEEN. ..when did i start the archon quest?? uh. its been. SOMETHING. hours and i FINALLY got my answer

and

thats

it

ahdwuaishdah

im tired.

okay its been 5 hours

cause like i was doing the kinich test run thing and was so confused on how to play him that i googled lol

WOOOahjdwus

my laptop is not happy with genshin 💀

[stanleyisworking]

MOE Pt. 2: My First Day at Admiralty Secondary School (Mr. Stanley? Mr. Seet?! Teacher Stanley?!)

My alarm rang at 5.30am yet again. At this point, I only had 4 hours of sleep during the night. But who could sleep when it was going to be the first day in a brand new environment and a brand new job?

The imposter syndrome set in again the moment I walked through the gates.

Students in uniform were trailing in, their faces full of reluctance.

I remember how that felt like. I was never the type to enjoy school. Rather, I disliked it and felt restricted by it. Stepping onto the school grounds as an adult (I hope) felt oddly liberating. Students bowed their heads to greet me as they walked past and I hardly knew how to react. Half of me still thought I was a teenager just like them, but I tried my best to smile and greet them a very good morning - quickly settling into my role as the new music teacher.

But of course, I couldn't settle into the role without meeting my mentor first!

The instruction given to me was to wait for my mentor outside her classroom. Her form class was a current Secondary 4 Express level of students. As you all know, I tend to blow up everything in my head, so when I heard "Secondary 4 Express" I thought to myself "This is going to be fun..."

They were one of the oldest kids in school at the perfect age for teenage angst, how bad could it be?

Okay, to be honest... it wasn't that bad. Half of them were just half asleep and disinterested.

However, all that changed when I finished my self-introduction and my mentor (aka their form teacher), directed the class to quiz me on anything they wished to know about me. I was stunned!

"Mr. Stanley, do you play video games?"

"Mr. Stanley, do you do your eyebrows? They look very neat."

"Mr. Stanley, what skincare do you use? Why is your skin so glowy?"

I was not prepared for that kind of questions in front of the whole class - not even the MOE training prior to this prepared me for it!

As someone with an overthinking personality, this was the one time my overthinking helped me. I was quick on my feet to dissolve the situation before questions got too personal. Teenagers are often curious and when they see someone new in the classroom, I assumed they wanted to "capture" the new teacher's personality and see how much they can push.

"Yes, I do play games in my spare time. But I won't tell you which one or else you might try to play with me."

"Yes, I do trim my brows. It's important to keep a professional image when you're out in the industry."

"I apply moisturizer because my skin gets dry."

I answered all the questions in a matter-of-fact tone and eventually, they realized they couldn't probe any more personal matters out of me, so they gave up. Victory!

I was panicking on the inside. Being interrogated in front of the classroom by a bunch of teenagers was not on my agenda for my first day, but I would say I handled that very professionally and my mentor did not need to step in.

Anyways, shortly after, my mentor asked if I wanted to give some encouraging words to her students since they are supposed to sit for their GCE O levels this year.

I borrowed her marker and gave a simple talk on it's not about "I cannot do it" but rather, it's "I cannot do it yet." (Growth Mindset)

That was what I was writing on the whiteboard in the picture above!

I left that classroom that morning with a sense of accomplishment, excited for the afternoon ahead.

I finally had time to sit down after a busy day walking around the staff room, introducing myself to the teachers and the department heads. Oh, and, the hash brown above was a treat from my mentor after the busy morning - there is a glimpse of my schedule on the desk.

Funnily enough, at this point, I felt like a broken record all morning. "Hi! Nice to meet you, I'm Stanley, the new music teaching assistant!" for about a hundred times, asking the teachers what they teach, how their day has been, etc - walking to every desk and saying hello.

The reason why I decided to do that, even though it may come across as too enthusiastic, is because I needed to quickly know faces and have a sense of the culture at this school that I am posted in.

I quickly got a sense of where I should not misstep in terms of office politics, which teachers were more willing to assist me, and which were the ones who'd rather be left alone.

For the sake of privacy, I will address her as Teacher W. Teacher W immediately welcomed me when I did my rounds around school and I found out she was a literature teacher. Even though she was not my mentor for this internship, she welcomed me to sit in her classes whenever I liked and I was excited to get a chance to observe a class outside of my assigned subject!

One problem - now my schedule was really packed. I was running from class to class for the rest of the day because I had to fulfill my duties at my mentor's music period and join Teacher W at hers shortly after. I'm still glad I took up the opportunity. Teacher W's class was a whole different ballgame and offered me a new set of challenges that I will describe in the next post.

[creepy--claws]

[● Tales from today

I missed my least favorite class huzzah fuck art class so much

The entire point is to learn about shit, but we were not taught fucking ANYTHING about watercolor beforehand omfg.

So yippee fuck that class to hell and back I don't like it at all.

I managed to get to auto somehow (power of speed) and somehow within 20 minutes, so much bullshit went down

We got:

My friends found this big ass tire outside with oil in it and told me to get in. If there wasn't a shit ton of oil, yes I would have, but it was like. Filled with oil. And then I recieve my daily dose of hugs when suddenly I AM LIFTED INTO THE FUCKING AIR AAAAAAAA

This is the ultimate betrayal, anyways

The broom we use all the time to do things around here turns out to be taller than me. Luckily, we can fix that in 2 seconds with a saw.

History was fun today, I learned about an event that killed a bunch of people and was not tied to the activity at all lmao. And then English comes and I didn't know we had to be in a different class so thank goodness we figured that out just in the nick of time

My English teacher took pity on us because we had this big ass test to do, which is why I missed first period, and we get to just chill. I decided to waste my time watching Devil May Cry related shit on YouTube when suddenly everyone has collectively decided to play among us.

Now here is where I start having a breakdown

1: Someone turns to me and says "hey you should play Among Us with us" because he noticed that I wasn't playing along with them. I declined because I'm not the biggest fan of the sussy imposter game tbh, but that got me to be l Iike "Huh. I suddenly don't feel like being alone." So I get up and decide to talk to my teacher who is really epic and cool and awesome.

2: She tells me that apparently there are people who want to work with me but don't think I want to work with them. Now here's the thing. I present myself as dark as I can and close myself off because tragic anime backstory reasons (trauma) so people don't bully me. NOW THAT MIGHT HAVE WORKED A LITTLE TOO WELL AND NOW I REALIZE THAT PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO BULLY ME LIKE THEY DID IN 2017 SO THAT GOT TO ME EMOTIONALLY-

3: Every Wednesday (except for today because she had things to do) my English teacher has these cool meetups at break where people can come and hang out and talk to each other, and 2 of my friends from auto actually go there. I state that I might attend and my teacher says "Yes, please come next Wednesday if you can, we want you there"

I am gonna cry how is this possible

I have spent a majority of my life either being mistreated or left on my own, and I developed into this stone hearted bitch who is like "I am better off alone, eventually all my bonds are bound to break and I will end up walking this world alone again. It's better to be on your own than tormented by those who surround you." NOW I'M NOT TOO SURE ABOUT THAT PLAN-

LlIke yes I have small groups of friends, but I felt like those friendships would wither away eventually. Soon I would continue my path alone and simply brush off anything I felt about the people who have since left me like I usually do, but after that one period today. Maybe life doesn't always have to be so dark. Maybe my friends don't want to simply leave out of nowhere one day. Maybe my friends are actually my friends this time, and not just here for a small time before they leave again.

Yes this sounds dramatic as fuck but like. When you've lived my life of being socially outcasted or mistreated by people you thought you could trust, of course being hit with the realization that you don't have to keep being alone is going to get to you. Of course this is real life and I won't just change in the blink of an eye and suddenly be more outwardly to everyone. I will have to develop into doing that, but even then, I think I'm gonna keep being a little more reserved, but I will try to be less intimidating to others. I can't read people's minds, so I always assume the worst of what people think, but I've come to realize that not every smile is a smile of mockery. Sometimes people are just nice.]

[lightcreators]

Familiarity of her name would possibly tourment him for rest of the day. Funny, how he will pass most of time of that remaining journey, between two moments of anxiety as there was thinking over an mental chessboard, wondering how the hell he knew that name before … Without any kind of knoweldge himself could bouncing back, well, in some manners, his own being, almost immediatetly, decided to answering him. There was been harmony within his family a long time ago. Harmony who wasn't here anymore, who had disappeared ? Wasn't itself comic coming from fragmented memories of an past life ? Within another perspective, as it had been an temporary thought during that long time ago period, there had been a dramatic realization over an number they could have been … when somewhere, an duality reflected strangely within game of mirrors had another person … There was an particular thankness, especially inside his year, he was forced to taming whatever shock reaction he could possibly have. Be betrayed within his surprise concerning Harmony, that, at the limit, he would have to work on the illusion much later. Psychological shock to understanding somewhere who had been foreshadowed and intented to be pulled like an trigger, like an tragedy embracing his existence --- nah, he would need to go in the infirmary. Would actually need to fucking understand what the fuck was going on . Dramatically, he supposed a smart metaphoric twin did understood that indirect memo. Nevertheless, emotionally, remnant of imposter of Alois Trancy couldn't just accept it --- not after be the only one physically present, not after knowing what it looked like to have his soul tore apart from inside, not after having losing an brother powerlessly … At same time, it always had been about trinity, not only duality ! Three higher ranks would made possible his ascension to that Witch of Illusions title : a God of the Underground who was supporting … reflection of his favorite soul meanwhile watching over the person he swore to protect, and oh, granted his wish ; someone who decided to making him think of the Emperor of Britannia in which he would have to understood intentions for better creating his fall since he decided to be a jerk ; experiencing all by himself loneliness and emotional tourment of the Golden Witch without actually see her !

Enjoying opportunites around, he enjoyed that short moment when his influence worked correctly for somewhere calm down entire mist within his expression. Ah, if circumstances where how he was imagined it, he would lose it … but couldn't exposing his anger somewhere. It wasn't like he had remembering what happened, just an physical trigger had been exposed to his face long enough for making him concluding something … and he loathed it … and wasn't like he could trade that kind of miracle with anyone. Waves of anxiety passed though his features regardless as he was watching over Snape, when he would need to sealing up that conversation. The professor would wondering why suddently he was so anxious, and since his manner to dealing with his emotions was anger, some chaos would emerge in one point or another if attention was brought to him. Everything was alright, there was nothing wrong when his castle of illusions was fated to be glass --- Fated to be destroyed within himself no matter as he could act, special grudge menu of his metaphoric twin for be sure he understood PERFECTLY eventually his perspective. What a tragedy he couldn't sparing himself of illusions. Another time, he grumbed mentally. ❝ As surprising as it is, I understand the feeling more that you can imagine, even though I would use past tense over it mostly, even if sometimes I don't feel I belonging truly here … ❞ He wanted to become a witch of the Purgatory. Wizarding world was just the physical sphere for achieve it, when he didn't have to care about humans, about the Muggles. However, with his mental turmoil and his beautiful emotional torture, pondering if this was really his world did crossed his mind --- but again, he was the single one left, he was the single possible manner for Alois Trancy to ressurecting of the dead … and circumstances didn't left him any choice … and yet, that trigger returned back sensation he had desired experiencing because of a far away sorrow he couldn't pull the name upon, and as much tragedy was to be expected in his family, it came out of control coming for the people controlling. Not that he cared about established gear attached to his persona : Fates's threads will be owned. ❝ Don't be too harsh on yourself. Even if you are the new kid, even if it's a bit new to you, everyone here is an wizard as you. ❞ Couple of years earlier, he would bring stuff concerning value of the blood, but even for appareances, he shut down in that. He didn't needed to be arrogant on that manner for showing how he could be a asshole. ❝ Ah. I'm so sorry. ❞ He could distracting himself by making sure she was comfortable, right ? It could appeasing his mind, and doing something good meanwhile two assholery can only be heathly ! There was an short of silence, as he didn't know how to respond without have to think a horrible manner to twist the truth if he needed it. Moving on closer to her ears, he whispered. ❝ We can do that, but it will be your little secret~ Great Malfoy have an reputation of brat, if suddently I showed how friendly my heart is for other houses so openly, it won't be good for me … though, don't worry, revolution will be made inside this school over that point. ❞ Removing herself of his sudden closeness he smiled at her. ❝ I can be your mentor~ ❞ The real word he meant was big brother, but he still felt that in the present circumstances, concluded emotions and positions were twisted again, as she would be his.

Someone named Harmony can only bring about harmony in the family she is in.

The words touched her. She hoped it would be true. When she had received her letter for attending Hogwarts, notifying her that she was magical and a witch, it changed Harmony's world forever. To discover her father had been a wizard and lived a whole other life and had family she had no idea about...it was still a lot to take in and process. It didn't help that she was one of the odd students out, being a late bloomer and starting in her fifth year, trying to play catch up on years worth she had missed while everyone else already had the advantage.

When she received reassurance from Draco that she was doing the right things and that he would help keep the professor from snapping at her, the Hufflepuff relaxed, feeling as though a weight was taken off her shoulders. "Thank you. I'm glad to have found myself sitting next to you. I've felt so out of place. It doesn't help being the new kid, especially a late bloomer. Although everyone in my house has been so kind and welcoming, I haven't really made friends yet." With this, she paused, stirring her cauldron, before glancing back at him. "Would you perhaps like to be friends?" she asked nervously.

Maybe he could give her some pointers about the wizarding world and help her catch up.